I’m sure there are lots of grandparents like me that really struggle when it comes to buying gifts for grandchildren. Three of my four grandsons – aged 4, 5 and 6 years – live a great distance from me and I only get to be with them once a year if I am lucky. So, when it comes to gift-giving I am often unsure what they would like, what they already have and what is right developmental skill level for them. I also need to think about buying something that won’t break easily, can be handed down or enjoyed by every child, but still be special for the intended child, and because I live away, can be posted easily and inexpensively. I have to say that when the postage costs more than the gift I am more than a little peeved! Sounds tricky, because it is!
A phone call to dad or mum often helps me know what the grandchild has and what they would like, although I sometimes hear the dreaded, ‘we don’t know either’, and the decision is left to me! So, I have developed a method of resolving this…. I send a card in the post to the grandchild (all children love to receive a letter in the mail) and transfer money to the parents and ask them to please chose. Once the boys are a little older, I will undoubtably send them the money and let them choose their own gifts, as it is so often an impossible task. I know this works. When my own children were growing up, my parents (who lived thousands of kilometres away) used to do the same thing. They would send a cheque inside a birthday card and we would duly take it to the bank, deposit it and then take the cash to a shop of choice for the purchase. Today it would more likely be an online transfer, but the idea is the same.
What was interesting is the different responses this birthday money received from my children. I had one child who would spend the money immediately, another who saved it until enough money was saved for a larger purchase and another who asked for it to be deposited into his savings account and never spent…and these spending habits are still the same 20 years later! Hilariously, one grandchild from a brother’s family received those birthday cheques for 15 years and one day, when he was 23 years of age and had left home, his mother was cleaning out his desk draw and found those cheques, never cashed, but stored carefully away! The cheapest birthday presents my parents ever gave….
Of course, it is nice to purchase ‘that special gift’ for your grandchild, and many enjoy the opportunity to browse the shelves, or shop online until the perfect gift is found. That gift will depend on things like the gender, age and developmental level of your grandchild, their interests, the season (I always find summer gifts easier as water play features heavily in my grandchildren’s lives), living accommodation (apartment or house with backyard) and of course, your budget. When purchasing a gift, you also need to consider if you are looking for something that encourages active play, or something that builds concentration, attention, fine motor, numeracy or literacy skills, or maybe you are happy to just buy something that is frivolous and fun. As grandparents we might even buy something that we loved in our own childhood, or that we purchased for our own children that was very popular, in the hopes that our grandchildren will love it too. We may even purchase our grandchildren replicas of items that reflect our own hobbies or chores, such as small versions of workshop items (hammer, screwdriver, drill, ruler), gardening tools (spade, fork, rake, lawn mower), household cleaning aids (broom, vacuum cleaner, dustpan and brush), as grandchildren love to ‘help’ or participate in activities when they come to visit.
There are simply so many choices when it comes to purchasing gifts for grandchildren. I suspect the biggest problem we have is that the choice is simply overwhelming and it’s hard to know where to start! For lots of gift ideas, dip into Grandparenting Grandchildren where there is a chapter dedicated to gift ideas for babies through to pre-schoolers… and if you are still left wondering what to buy…. send a cheque, or transfer money via online banking and add a ‘Happy Birthday’ message that appears on the statement. My dad still laughs at the discovery of the 15 years of birthday cheques. Too late to be cashed in, he considered that his birthday gifts cost him nothing! But, true to his kind and generous nature he totalled up the cheques never cashed, wrote another one for that value (plus interest) and sent his 23-year-old grandson down to the local bank to deposit it. One wonderful grandparent and one lucky grandson!
